Friends forever

You never knew when your time on earth ends, much more with the lives of others.

It’s very painful when a friend, a person important to you departs. No I must not say that; she doesn’t want to leave yet, only that she is now fetched by the father.

She’s still young, very young. It’s not timely for her to be deprived of the love, happiness and harmony of the world. If only I were to decide, I will allow her to see more of the beauty on earth and essence of living. But I do not hold the key. Just like her, I am also only waiting for His final say.

If you’re reading this, this is one thing I can assure you—I will never ever forget that once, a girl named “Rhea” came into my life and became part of my meaningful existence.

Do you still remember the mornings when I fetched you from your home, especially the instances when I was the one waking you up because you won’t answer to your mother’s call? Do you still recall when we chose to walk rather than ride every morning? The passing to shortcut routes just to reach school on time? The bridge, that Hinoba-an bridge is a witness to our laughers, talks, and secrets.

You know that you were the only person I showed my patience to. Though it would take 30-45 minutes to wait for you to be ready for school, there, I stayed either in your “kamalig” or inside your house, sitting and waiting. You were the only person who used to accompany me in going to school especially when I was in Grade 6 and you were in Grade 5, but we’re of the same age.

You know how much I value our friendship. Like your family, even I cannot accept your goodbye. I am very much affected with your death because you are my friend.

Those morning moments we shared will always be kept here. Remember that a certain “Pebyang” will always be here for you, you may be intangible for her.

Rhe, Pebyang promises to forever treasure your friendship with her. I believe that God has better plans why He gets your life back as early as today. May you rest in peace Rhe.

“God made a wonderful mother, a mother who doesn’t grow old.
He made her a smile of sunshine and a heart of pure gold.
In her cheeks, He placed fair roses; in her eyes, stars that shine.
God made a wonderful mother, and that wonderful mother is mine”

This was a forwarded text message from a friend this morning, which obviously speaks of how proud and happy she is to be given a mother she has now.

Each of us also feels the same to our moms. You can tell of everything about your mom, and I can also share to you some stories about my one and only Mama Miploy or Miraflor Acabo in real name. Today is a special day for her so I’ll make her the center of my today’s post. Oh, I forgot to make my birthday post for her on May 5. “Mama, you’re now 38, you’re getting younger!”

Anyways, this is what I’ve known about her…

She was only 19 when she delivered me into this world. That’s the first thing that proves how proud and thankful I am to be her first daughter. But prior to it, she showed how deep her love to papa is when they went to Canla-on to have a “tanan”. That’s why I was made!

Despite having a baby, she still went to her school, Central Visayas Polytechnic College (CVPC) regularly. Papa supported her studies because he already was working at that time.

Before CVPC, she took Mass Communication at Silliman University on the first semester of the first year, but transferred to CVPC-Guihulngan. She was supposed to be in her last year, but she shifted to Bachelor of Elementary Education major in English until she graduated on 2001.

She passed the LET on 2002 [her first take], but only became a regular teacher 3 years after. She used to be only a substitute teacher if any one gets pregnant or sick.

Her first assignment as teacher was at Aya, the farthest barangay of La Libertad which is also the boundary to Negros Occidental. I was still in high school that time and I remember, she departs every Monday morning and returns home on Friday late afternoons. Papa was responsible for packing her one week stay consumptions at the mountain which is also dangerous because of the occupation of the rebels. In that school, she handled two classes—Grades 3 and 4.

After 3 years, she was transferred to Guihob, nearer than Aya. This time, she can manage traveling daily. Until now, she’s still teaching in Guihob preferably the Grade 6 pupils.

Mama, I should say is a monitoring mom. She keeps on checking especially the health of my 3 younger sisters. She always wants to make sure they have eaten, taken their vitamins and medicines especially that there were several times they were brought to the hospital or sent to pediatricians for check-up.

On this day, I received numerous text messages from her to take care of the children. Though we have dissimilar networks, she sends the same messages twice to make sure that I’ll do what she had told.

She’s still young, sometimes there are still few childish traits I detect from her words and actions, but her tandem with papa is perfect because papa’s maturity and attitude which is sometimes funny and serious is the reason why the best of the family comes out.

As of now, mama is the source for our daily expenses because she’s the only one working, while papa is earning a little from his piggery and farm production in the mountain. Her salary is not enough to cater our needs and wants, but we are striving to balance everything.

Now, she’s studying her masteral degree at Moalboal, Cebu to at least uplift her position. We support you with that ma!

Mama, we love you so much. Thank you, belated happy birthday and happy mother’s day! We are proud of you, we’re happy to be your daughters.

Alyanna, you can do it!

Last month we only had a 5-hour bonding. Now I’m back, but you’re not inside the house. Mama told me you’re at the hospital for the same reason.

I thought this would be a happy come back, but seeing you at the same room in the same hospital really aches my heart. The past 9 months that you were there was not long enough.

The same process is done to you—injected, a dextrose and nebulizer beside, but now, a tank is added, the oxygen. I can’t see that smile from you now. You don’t even want me to carry you.

This week is another challenge for you and us. Everyone in the family hopes for your early recovery so that we can go home early, so that you can play with your cousins, relatives, and neighbors again.

We love you Inday Yanna!

Home buddies

I always say this, “I’d rather be the one suffering than seeing my sisters in pale faces.” I hate it much when I see them in delicate conditions.

Amanda (the fourth daughter) is the bubbliest among us, but when I saw her this morning at the hospital for her nth check-up, she appears to be the most fragile, the one with weak resistance.

Admittedly, I saw a different Amanda. I want to hear her singing but she ignored my request. I want her to speak or call my name but she also refused. But mama said that Amanda misses me a lot, and she often asked “where ate is?”

Those words moved my heart. If she only knew how much I miss her and the other three girls also, to play with them again after three months of not returning home. God knows how much I love my sisters.

Don't worry

I want no one but my self to know, only me.

If I don’t have enough sleep, if I have not eaten, if I am shelled with responsibilities, if I am striking deadlines of major requirements, if I feel sick, if I’m tired, if giving-up is almost there, as much as possible, I don’t want them to know my condition while away from them.

I don’t want them to worry because I feel frail and more anxious than them, instead. I don’t want them to constantly glide their thoughts on me. Not saying that I want to be on my own, but I can promise them that I can handle myself because I know I’ve grown up.

Last time when I went to auntie’s house, my other nanay was there. When she returned home, she told mama that she[nanay] saw me with pale face, tired eyes like haven’t slept for the whole night.

Upon hearing, mama immediately texted, and yes, I explained. I told her that I came from an overnight and I am still to sleep that morning. But I really said not to worry about me, that I can take care of my self.

Ang ayaw ko lang naman ay mag-alala sila dahil mas nag-aalala na ako sa kanila ngayon. Hahhai...

Daydreams

“After school, he accompanies me going home. We eat together, we help each other in school works, and we talk all the time. On Sundays, we go to church, we stroll along the city, we watch movies, and sing in KTV bars.

We laugh, we share our worries, we sympathize each other. My parents know him, the same thing is I to his family. We solve our problems in a relationship. We never hide anything. We are true to each other. I trust him, he trusts me. I accept him, he does too. We are much in love with each other than any other people could see…”

Wow, what a kilig and heartening episodes in one’s or two people’s lives. It becomes more emotionally touching after hearing that passage that comes from a woman’s thoughts.

But that is only an illusion, vague to come true especially to a woman like me who has nothing to show and brag in the physical side, but only the personality. Those encounter are just part of my impossible dreams.

I am not beautiful, I don’t have the curvacious body and exact height. I dress differently from other girls. I don’t possess the charisma and appeal. Most boys don’t even go nearer to me unless, they have something to ask which is related to school activities.

I am turning 19, but for even a single time, I never experienced being in a boy-girl relationship, to be loved by someone who’s not related to me except friends. As what other woman is needing, I also want and need to be loved. I’ve always loved, but not loved in return.

Though I continue receiving bullies from peers, I’m contented being single. Who wouldn’t be happy having no additional headache and heartache?...but it’s really different to have someone who cares and loves you above all, and makes you realize how special and important you are in this world.

Inspired escape

Comparing to the usual days I have, today is one of the special and inspiring dates. I saw my man and spent my three and a half hours with him. I seldom see him these days that’s why I was very glad that he came here.

Though I supposed to finish other things, still I spare my time with him because he's more important than everything and everyone who exist.

He’s so special to me that even seeing him once a week already completes the emptiness. I toured him at the new attraction of the city, we ate, we talked, we laughed, we bought stuffs, we walked, we separated, and I kissed him.

It was only a short time that we were together, but it was worth more than any other company because being with him is already a source of strength and inspiration, and completes my February.

He’s a different man, and I love him so much. If there could be a word which refers to more than a father, then it’s him. I can’t imagine how this life would be without him.

Another reason why I love this day is that, despite the busy schedule, I was able to treat my self by strolling along the downtown, visit the new ukay-ukay stall, entered in business centers, and ate with my close course mates.

I seldom do that to my self, but today, I made it! I love this day because I gave my self a short break from stress and work in school.

Tired and sleepy upon returning home, but the fun doesn’t end there. I still went out and returned home at midnight.

It was a minute escape, a runaway moment from responsibilities...I hope there'll be more next times.