Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Home buddies

I always say this, “I’d rather be the one suffering than seeing my sisters in pale faces.” I hate it much when I see them in delicate conditions.

Amanda (the fourth daughter) is the bubbliest among us, but when I saw her this morning at the hospital for her nth check-up, she appears to be the most fragile, the one with weak resistance.

Admittedly, I saw a different Amanda. I want to hear her singing but she ignored my request. I want her to speak or call my name but she also refused. But mama said that Amanda misses me a lot, and she often asked “where ate is?”

Those words moved my heart. If she only knew how much I miss her and the other three girls also, to play with them again after three months of not returning home. God knows how much I love my sisters.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Don't worry

I want no one but my self to know, only me.

If I don’t have enough sleep, if I have not eaten, if I am shelled with responsibilities, if I am striking deadlines of major requirements, if I feel sick, if I’m tired, if giving-up is almost there, as much as possible, I don’t want them to know my condition while away from them.

I don’t want them to worry because I feel frail and more anxious than them, instead. I don’t want them to constantly glide their thoughts on me. Not saying that I want to be on my own, but I can promise them that I can handle myself because I know I’ve grown up.

Last time when I went to auntie’s house, my other nanay was there. When she returned home, she told mama that she[nanay] saw me with pale face, tired eyes like haven’t slept for the whole night.

Upon hearing, mama immediately texted, and yes, I explained. I told her that I came from an overnight and I am still to sleep that morning. But I really said not to worry about me, that I can take care of my self.

Ang ayaw ko lang naman ay mag-alala sila dahil mas nag-aalala na ako sa kanila ngayon. Hahhai...