My Papu

I hug and kiss you everyday. When I’m happy, you’re there. When I’m sad, you’re still there. I tell you my secrets, I share you my problems, I cry before you.

You are the only one who’s willing to listen, comforts me, ready to be there when I need a companion. Though you can’t speak, I know you are conversing with me. Even if you can’t see, I know you’re watching me. I know you sympathize with me every time I talk to you. I know you understand me.

Thank you Papu for being there, my true friend. If you were only human, I would be obsessed to be with you all the time.

I love you Papu. You’ll be the only Papu in my life because you complete my day and make me happy.

Missing my little angels

I miss my sisters so much, and this afternoon’s tears proved how I long to see, play, sing, laugh, and eat with them again.

Do you know how it feels whn the rest of your family members are there while you are here, alone? Do you know how it feels when you miss the noise inside your house? Do you know how it feels when though you are in a place with fascinating view, yet, you still want to see your home for you know that it is the best and the most beautiful place you have in your entire life?

I feel it completely because at this very moment, I miss the most important people in my life, especially my sisters.

I could remember when every time I retun home, they always run towards me, hug me, kiss me, check my bag to see if I have something for them, and say “Ate!” I could remember when they ask horror stories to tell them , and how I create fictional accounts just to scare them. I could remember when they “kuhit” my back and start running to make me follow them. Thus, we ran around the house, chasing each other. I remember when they chose me to bathe them instead of mama and papa. I remember more things we usually do at home when we’re together.

If only La Libertad is 30 kilometers away, I’ll really return home, even everyday, I’ll do. If only I don’t have classes on weekends, I’ll go home weekly. If only I don’t have responsibilities here aside from my studies, I’d rather perform my task as their eldest.

But our place is very far, I am at school 7 days a week, I have to accomplish my duty in the publication, and I have to do my responsibility as student. That’s why I’m trying to be with friends every minute so I can fill this emptiness of missing them.

Cover of evidence

Watching my picture wearing a toga makes me feel proud, but March is still very far. We haven’t even reached the first half of the semester yet. There is no assurance to graduate because the subjects are getting tough, requirements are multiplying, and tasks are getting serious.

I can feel that I’m a certified “graduating” student every time I see that photo, but it was only temporary, a short term happiness and satisfaction. I hope to pass all the subjects so my agony as a student will finally be ended.

I want to work, I want to earn money. Student life and being an employee are both tiring, but at least, you are earning when you are working.

Nevertheless, I’m glad and thankful that I’m now in the 4th and last year. I hope to surpass every trial all the way to March 2011 to march with mama and papa wearing my toga.

You're the best father

There would be no greater man than you, papa. Thank you for making us smile all the time. Thank you for loving mama and us, your daughters. Thank you for taking care of us six.

You’re an exceptional father. God is so good that he gave you to me. Your attitude I can never find in anyone, which most I have followed and adopted. Your humility and kindness are two of the traits I admire of you most. You know how to deal with people; you possess a very good PR. You’re patient and understanding. We often talk so I know your sentiments and stories in life since you were young. You’re a leader not only inside the house, but in the community.

Though you were not able to achieve your ambition of becoming a lawyer because of financial incapacity of your parents, but in our eyes, you’re more than a lawyer, but a judge.

You do not choose people to help, as long as they’re in need, there I saw your extending arms. You always remind us to maintain favorable relation with people. You tell us to keep on praying. You teach us the morals we should strive to possess, the little and big things in the world. You train us the chores to do inside the house, the manners to show inside the school, church, in another’s residence, in front of people, in a new place.

So many things you’ve taught us which forever will be kept in our “innocent to liable” minds. You are the only man in our lives, the best father of all. We are proud of you, papa.

From our sincere hearts, we want to tell you, “We love you and we thank you Papa Eufemio “Pepe” Cinco Acabo.”

Dora's birthday post

I’m now 19, still a teen. But I think, nothing will be changed—with my attitude, the way I dress, my actions, my style, my choices of food, etcetera.

Birthday is just a date, they say, or 20% of my head would say. But I want to make this special, especially that this is my last birthday in college. There are many people who are close to my heart, many friends who are precious and moments I shared with them which are truly memorable. There are my course mates, especially my batch in Mass Communication and some of my close in the lower years, my colleagues in the publication, my friends from different courses, my co-members in the affiliations I have joined in, my board mates in the six houses I have stayed in and the present one, many, many, and more people who mean a lot to me. I love these people so much. Until my last birthday, they will be treasured in this heart and mind.

Today may be ordinary for others, but this day is very special for me. Thank you to everybody who greeted through text, FB, personal and even through the radio. Thank you to those who gave me gifts. Thank you being part of my 19-year existence on earth. Thank you for accepting me as one of your friends.

His goal and the other's disappointment

Ohh, papa is so ambitious. Before, he used to say he wanted to visit Baguio; now, because of the reopening of the Yankee Stadium, he wants to see what’s with New York. Haha, I just laughed when he told me about this aim. It sounds very impossible but if God will allow this to happen, then I would be very happy for him.

On the other hand, I pity my cousin; he’s almost there but because of the other test, he did not qualify for the training. Last week, he passed the Neurological examination, but when he took the Army Reception Eye examination, he failed.

He will be coming back home after the 3-month stay at Cebu; the stay which he expects to bring him close to his dreams, but turned into dust. The next move depends on him and his decision, but we never lose hope. We’ll be supporting him all the way. Maybe being into military is not his destiny. His frustration will end soon.

Friends forever

You never knew when your time on earth ends, much more with the lives of others.

It’s very painful when a friend, a person important to you departs. No I must not say that; she doesn’t want to leave yet, only that she is now fetched by the father.

She’s still young, very young. It’s not timely for her to be deprived of the love, happiness and harmony of the world. If only I were to decide, I will allow her to see more of the beauty on earth and essence of living. But I do not hold the key. Just like her, I am also only waiting for His final say.

If you’re reading this, this is one thing I can assure you—I will never ever forget that once, a girl named “Rhea” came into my life and became part of my meaningful existence.

Do you still remember the mornings when I fetched you from your home, especially the instances when I was the one waking you up because you won’t answer to your mother’s call? Do you still recall when we chose to walk rather than ride every morning? The passing to shortcut routes just to reach school on time? The bridge, that Hinoba-an bridge is a witness to our laughers, talks, and secrets.

You know that you were the only person I showed my patience to. Though it would take 30-45 minutes to wait for you to be ready for school, there, I stayed either in your “kamalig” or inside your house, sitting and waiting. You were the only person who used to accompany me in going to school especially when I was in Grade 6 and you were in Grade 5, but we’re of the same age.

You know how much I value our friendship. Like your family, even I cannot accept your goodbye. I am very much affected with your death because you are my friend.

Those morning moments we shared will always be kept here. Remember that a certain “Pebyang” will always be here for you, you may be intangible for her.

Rhe, Pebyang promises to forever treasure your friendship with her. I believe that God has better plans why He gets your life back as early as today. May you rest in peace Rhe.

“God made a wonderful mother, a mother who doesn’t grow old.
He made her a smile of sunshine and a heart of pure gold.
In her cheeks, He placed fair roses; in her eyes, stars that shine.
God made a wonderful mother, and that wonderful mother is mine”

This was a forwarded text message from a friend this morning, which obviously speaks of how proud and happy she is to be given a mother she has now.

Each of us also feels the same to our moms. You can tell of everything about your mom, and I can also share to you some stories about my one and only Mama Miploy or Miraflor Acabo in real name. Today is a special day for her so I’ll make her the center of my today’s post. Oh, I forgot to make my birthday post for her on May 5. “Mama, you’re now 38, you’re getting younger!”

Anyways, this is what I’ve known about her…

She was only 19 when she delivered me into this world. That’s the first thing that proves how proud and thankful I am to be her first daughter. But prior to it, she showed how deep her love to papa is when they went to Canla-on to have a “tanan”. That’s why I was made!

Despite having a baby, she still went to her school, Central Visayas Polytechnic College (CVPC) regularly. Papa supported her studies because he already was working at that time.

Before CVPC, she took Mass Communication at Silliman University on the first semester of the first year, but transferred to CVPC-Guihulngan. She was supposed to be in her last year, but she shifted to Bachelor of Elementary Education major in English until she graduated on 2001.

She passed the LET on 2002 [her first take], but only became a regular teacher 3 years after. She used to be only a substitute teacher if any one gets pregnant or sick.

Her first assignment as teacher was at Aya, the farthest barangay of La Libertad which is also the boundary to Negros Occidental. I was still in high school that time and I remember, she departs every Monday morning and returns home on Friday late afternoons. Papa was responsible for packing her one week stay consumptions at the mountain which is also dangerous because of the occupation of the rebels. In that school, she handled two classes—Grades 3 and 4.

After 3 years, she was transferred to Guihob, nearer than Aya. This time, she can manage traveling daily. Until now, she’s still teaching in Guihob preferably the Grade 6 pupils.

Mama, I should say is a monitoring mom. She keeps on checking especially the health of my 3 younger sisters. She always wants to make sure they have eaten, taken their vitamins and medicines especially that there were several times they were brought to the hospital or sent to pediatricians for check-up.

On this day, I received numerous text messages from her to take care of the children. Though we have dissimilar networks, she sends the same messages twice to make sure that I’ll do what she had told.

She’s still young, sometimes there are still few childish traits I detect from her words and actions, but her tandem with papa is perfect because papa’s maturity and attitude which is sometimes funny and serious is the reason why the best of the family comes out.

As of now, mama is the source for our daily expenses because she’s the only one working, while papa is earning a little from his piggery and farm production in the mountain. Her salary is not enough to cater our needs and wants, but we are striving to balance everything.

Now, she’s studying her masteral degree at Moalboal, Cebu to at least uplift her position. We support you with that ma!

Mama, we love you so much. Thank you, belated happy birthday and happy mother’s day! We are proud of you, we’re happy to be your daughters.

Alyanna, you can do it!

Last month we only had a 5-hour bonding. Now I’m back, but you’re not inside the house. Mama told me you’re at the hospital for the same reason.

I thought this would be a happy come back, but seeing you at the same room in the same hospital really aches my heart. The past 9 months that you were there was not long enough.

The same process is done to you—injected, a dextrose and nebulizer beside, but now, a tank is added, the oxygen. I can’t see that smile from you now. You don’t even want me to carry you.

This week is another challenge for you and us. Everyone in the family hopes for your early recovery so that we can go home early, so that you can play with your cousins, relatives, and neighbors again.

We love you Inday Yanna!

Home buddies

I always say this, “I’d rather be the one suffering than seeing my sisters in pale faces.” I hate it much when I see them in delicate conditions.

Amanda (the fourth daughter) is the bubbliest among us, but when I saw her this morning at the hospital for her nth check-up, she appears to be the most fragile, the one with weak resistance.

Admittedly, I saw a different Amanda. I want to hear her singing but she ignored my request. I want her to speak or call my name but she also refused. But mama said that Amanda misses me a lot, and she often asked “where ate is?”

Those words moved my heart. If she only knew how much I miss her and the other three girls also, to play with them again after three months of not returning home. God knows how much I love my sisters.

Don't worry

I want no one but my self to know, only me.

If I don’t have enough sleep, if I have not eaten, if I am shelled with responsibilities, if I am striking deadlines of major requirements, if I feel sick, if I’m tired, if giving-up is almost there, as much as possible, I don’t want them to know my condition while away from them.

I don’t want them to worry because I feel frail and more anxious than them, instead. I don’t want them to constantly glide their thoughts on me. Not saying that I want to be on my own, but I can promise them that I can handle myself because I know I’ve grown up.

Last time when I went to auntie’s house, my other nanay was there. When she returned home, she told mama that she[nanay] saw me with pale face, tired eyes like haven’t slept for the whole night.

Upon hearing, mama immediately texted, and yes, I explained. I told her that I came from an overnight and I am still to sleep that morning. But I really said not to worry about me, that I can take care of my self.

Ang ayaw ko lang naman ay mag-alala sila dahil mas nag-aalala na ako sa kanila ngayon. Hahhai...

Daydreams

“After school, he accompanies me going home. We eat together, we help each other in school works, and we talk all the time. On Sundays, we go to church, we stroll along the city, we watch movies, and sing in KTV bars.

We laugh, we share our worries, we sympathize each other. My parents know him, the same thing is I to his family. We solve our problems in a relationship. We never hide anything. We are true to each other. I trust him, he trusts me. I accept him, he does too. We are much in love with each other than any other people could see…”

Wow, what a kilig and heartening episodes in one’s or two people’s lives. It becomes more emotionally touching after hearing that passage that comes from a woman’s thoughts.

But that is only an illusion, vague to come true especially to a woman like me who has nothing to show and brag in the physical side, but only the personality. Those encounter are just part of my impossible dreams.

I am not beautiful, I don’t have the curvacious body and exact height. I dress differently from other girls. I don’t possess the charisma and appeal. Most boys don’t even go nearer to me unless, they have something to ask which is related to school activities.

I am turning 19, but for even a single time, I never experienced being in a boy-girl relationship, to be loved by someone who’s not related to me except friends. As what other woman is needing, I also want and need to be loved. I’ve always loved, but not loved in return.

Though I continue receiving bullies from peers, I’m contented being single. Who wouldn’t be happy having no additional headache and heartache?...but it’s really different to have someone who cares and loves you above all, and makes you realize how special and important you are in this world.

Inspired escape

Comparing to the usual days I have, today is one of the special and inspiring dates. I saw my man and spent my three and a half hours with him. I seldom see him these days that’s why I was very glad that he came here.

Though I supposed to finish other things, still I spare my time with him because he's more important than everything and everyone who exist.

He’s so special to me that even seeing him once a week already completes the emptiness. I toured him at the new attraction of the city, we ate, we talked, we laughed, we bought stuffs, we walked, we separated, and I kissed him.

It was only a short time that we were together, but it was worth more than any other company because being with him is already a source of strength and inspiration, and completes my February.

He’s a different man, and I love him so much. If there could be a word which refers to more than a father, then it’s him. I can’t imagine how this life would be without him.

Another reason why I love this day is that, despite the busy schedule, I was able to treat my self by strolling along the downtown, visit the new ukay-ukay stall, entered in business centers, and ate with my close course mates.

I seldom do that to my self, but today, I made it! I love this day because I gave my self a short break from stress and work in school.

Tired and sleepy upon returning home, but the fun doesn’t end there. I still went out and returned home at midnight.

It was a minute escape, a runaway moment from responsibilities...I hope there'll be more next times.

I found it!

I was in first year college when Tatay gave it to me, but I lost it, not even able to use it for one day. He handed it to me before I went to back the city.

How I lost it, was vague. Maybe I just misplaced it in one of my envelopes, together with some of my documents, belongings, and senseless stuffs, or left it while riding in a bus.

But this noon, while searching for my grades to fill up the evaluation form I am to submit on the next day, a thing fell when I get the plastic envelope inside the messy cabinet. It was a small, black, shiny and rectangular. I found it! It was what Tatay gave me two years ago—a music player.

I can still remember when every time I return home, he used to ask me about his gift. I just tell him that I leave it in my boarding house. My papa and sister also did, but I just confidently said that it’s kept in me, and stored with more songs.

I checked it, very clear and identical, the songs are truly ‘Tatak Tatay’—those from The Eagles, Scorpions, Firehouse, Queen, Deep Purple, Bon Jovi, Elvis Presley, Elton John, Roxette, Rod Stewart, Danity Kane, and more of the 70s and 80s.

At home, I often heard him singing the songs of those bands and icons, and those were what he always play on the CD or DVD player. That’s why we are influenced to sing the kinds also.

Now, I have nothing to hide. The next time I go back home, I will confidently show them that the mp is alive, and promise, I’ll take care of it, Tay!

He will come

I’m already 18 years old, and I will be turning 19 soon...I’ve always been teased by my friends why until now I don’t have boyfriend yet.

Actually, I always say that I don’t know how to run a life engaging in a mutual kind of relationship. Sometimes I say, ‘because I don’t want to cry for the person’, or ‘because my parents won’t allow me to’, or because 'my friends thought that I am a serious girl and has vision'…all those reasons, etcetera, etcetera…

Not bragging but there have been a lot of them who asked me to be their girl, but none moved my heart, none of them convinced my thoughts and emotion, because I know that none of them will stay longer with me and will never love me truly.

I am not an easy to get girl to honestly say. I don’t easily believe to the honeyed words of males. Before I decide to say “no” or “yes”, I want to make sure that what I utter comes from what I truly feel.

It’s not saying that I am choosy, but I just want to make sure that I made the right thing, and I’ve chosen the right man.

But everything changes after realizing that I’m already a lady, or a lady? To have a boyfriend is one of my requests now that I step on in this stage. When I see girls with their special someone walking, eating, going to church, roaming, talking, and those other forms that shows they are lovers, I get jealous.

I told my self that I also want to experience the same thing. I want to know the feeling of being fetched and sent back to the house; the occasions that you and your man are eating and watching movies together; the feeling of being cared, that all the time, someone is thinking how and where you are; the feeling that you think you are beautiful and blessed because there is someone who truly loves and accepts you no matter who and what you are.

When will I experience that? When will that time be? When will I consider my self a lady? When will I have someone to be called as my boyfriend? When will that time come that I would be proud to shout to every ear that “this is my boyfriend!” Until when will I wait for him?

I know God will give me the perfect moment and the perfect man that I have long been waiting for. I know he will come, he will come, and I just have to patiently wait. I will wait for you, and promise, I will love you.

I’m not rushing to have that someone in my life, to tell everybody that ‘this is my man!’… but I’m sure it will happen to me.

Falling for someone

It’s hard to fall in love. I can’t sleep well at night because I’m searching for him. But he’s the wrong guy, we can’t be together. He loves another maybe, but I love him so much.

I never experienced this kind of feeling when I was in high school, only now that I’m growing mature. I can’t understand this; I am even ashamed to share this with others.

I see this guy everyday, but every time I take a glimpse of him, it’s as if nothing is within me. I am a pretender, but at the back of everything, there’s no second when I can’t think of him. He is everything to me. He is conquering my thought, that’s why I can’t concentrate with what I’m doing.

I don’t want to be in love, especially with him. We are far different from each other. He is the typical “habulin” ng girls, while I, “nakuh! walang gusto’ng magkamali”.

But it’s ok, I’m happy with my life. Though I have no boyfriend since birth, but I’m contented being single this time. I know God has destined me the right man. I don’t have to wait, because he will come in an unexpected time, if not soon, then at the right moment.

If it’s not His plan now to make me involve into relationships, so I must accept and follow. He has the best timing and He knows everything. I just need to trust in His will.

Value of a secret

People confidently entrust me their secrets, but why can’t I share to them mine?

One big thing I discover about me is my being secretive. Yes, I can assure that people can rely on me to keep their top revelations, but I found it hard to trust them, to tell the things and problems I keep holding, to share my emotions.

Even to my friends, even to my closest, I don't know how to trust. That’s why I don’t have a best friend because for me, no one can be trusted except mama and papa. I cannot even trust my younger sister because I know, she doesn’t keep secrets.

That’s why I feel free and contented keeping my veil of secrets between me and my self alone. I found it better to keep secrets within my boundary.

And thank God that as time passes, I just noticed that my worries and aches are easily vanishing because I solved it my own.

I keep inside me the value of a secret, though some might find it difficult to understand this.

To have him

I really wanted to have him...

...a brother preferably the one older than me, so he can protect me and I can have him whenever I want a company of a man; so I will have someone to be called as "kuya" or "manong" at home, aside from cousins.

The need for a brother is felt in a family with an all-female siblings, like us. In fact, Papa wanted to have a son to retain his surname, but it was not granted. God gave them the Marias.

Though we are all female, I still consider it a blessing. I know I cannot have sisters as bubbly, bright and funny as what I have now. They are definitely, the best girls!

And because I have no brother, I’m clinging on to the male friends I have, whom some are already considered as my real brothers.

Sorry

I’m sorry for having neglected you for six days before I finally discovered your condition. You got rotten because I ignored you. You became useless because I left you in the corner.

Swear, I was not able to notice you 'cause I was busy this few days. You were thrown to the garbage because you turned out smelly.

I’m sorry banana, I didn't give you attention. I’m sorry Pa for the fruit you sent me were all turned out black and soft.

But I didn’t regret in letting those long yellows stay in my room for almost a week before it get bored and finally left me.

Though I can find many similar to it in the markets, those were the special ones for it came from our place, and it was my father who searched and bought it just for me, but then I was not able to taste it.

Good!

This Christmas vacation, papa had opened to us that there came a time when he felt entering politics again, especially when he was suede by the other politicians to run as councilor this election. He added that he was cautious to say "yes" or "no" before the deadline of the filing of candidacy.

Papa served for 9 years as councilor in La Libertad. Within that term, I’ve observed how people come and go to our house, look for him, and asked for assistance. I’ve also found out the real attitude of people. Not only some, but there are many who are abusive.

Papa is a kind of person who easily feels mercy to whom he think needs help, then he immediately give, no matter what, even if nothing's left in his pocket.

This is a weakness I see in papa. Madali lang siyang mapaniwala ng tao na sila ay naghihirap, madaling ma-uto, madaling madala sa arte ng marami, masyadong mapagbigay. He's too generous.

But nevertheless, we are happy that he made the right decision. I've been bearing in mind since high school that politics is the dirtiest thing in the society, and that is caused by the politicians themsleves. We salute his choice of not running this May, and for that, we continue our support to papa's plans forthe next years.

Papa's one-term service is enough for me, and I don't want him to be back on that business again. I believe, something good out there is waiting for him aside from politics. We just want him to keep away from the walls of that affair.

We love you pa!

Good!

This Christmas vacation, papa had opened to us that there came a time when he felt entering politics again, especially when he was suede by the other politicians to run as councilor this election. He added that he was cautious to say "yes" or "no" before the deadline of the filing of candidacy.

Papa served for 9 years as councilor in La Libertad. Within that term, I’ve observed how people come and go to our house, look for him, and asked for assistance. I’ve also found out the real attitude of people. Not only some, but there are many who are abusive.

Papa is a kind of person who easily feels mercy to whom he think needs help, then he immediately give, no matter what, even if nothing's left in his pocket.

This is a weakness I see in papa. Madali lang siyang mapaniwala ng tao na sila ay naghihirap, madaling ma-uto, madaling madala sa arte ng marami, masyadong mapagbigay. He's too generous.

But nevertheless, we are happy that he made the right decision. I've been bearing in mind since high school that politics is the dirtiest thing in the society, and that is caused by the politicians themsleves. We salute his choice of not running this May, and for that, we continue our support to papa's plans for the next years.

Papa's one-term service is enough for me, and I don't want him to be back on that business again. I believe, something good out there is waiting for him aside from politics. We just want him to keep away from the walls of that affair.

We love you pa!

Amanda

It’s funny how my younger sister, Amanda says and means things in the opposite. One best example of that is closing and opening of the door. “Sirado” for her is opening, while “abre” means closing. So when she tells me, “Ate sirad-e!” what she wants me to do, is to open the door.

Amanda is really talkative though she can hardly speak. In the vernacular, she’s one of those “yungit” children. She is always teased by my uncles and aunties as “Manda, amang, apa!” but she’s maldita and instead, responds by saying, “bahaya mo, nawong mo abat-abat!”

She’s fond of talking but most of her words are not easily understood. Despite that, we are already used into the way she speaks. That’s what makes Amanda different from other family members.

Another remarkable word of Amanda is “yamat”. Instead of “thank you” which is difficult for her to utter, she says “yamat ra.”

She’s the closest to me, and she really gets the attention of everybody because of her attitude.

Balak daw

My sister asked me to write a one-stanza Balak (in English, Tagalog and Cebuano) which uses mathematical terms as their assignment. I made this in 45 minutes, and it’s up to her if she’ll submit this piece.

Oh woman of my thoughts and dreams
You add life and took me out of these pains
You paralleled my broken scene
And multiplied the happiness in me.


Oh babae sa aking panaginip
Dinagdagan mo ng kulay ang puso’ng nawadlit
Pinaresan ang nasaktang damdamin
At pinarami ang kasiyahan sa ‘king daigdig.


Oh babaye sa akong panumduman
Nga midunga’g pagmaya sa mapit-os nga dughan
Imu’ng gi paresan ang gugma’ng nasakitan
Ug gipilo-pilo ang kalipay nga nahiaguman.